Oh, the wonder that is acai!

so you feel good about yourself and are positive about life, even while exercising.

I know that when I exercise, I'm left feeling depressed and suicidal. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME MOVE!

gently cleanses your colon of excess waste...so you feel refreshed and rarin' to go.

I've got nothing to say here. That's just a beautiful sentence.

Maybe I should get an infomercial

The best way to prepare for the beach season is to approach "weight loss" the smart and easy way. When you do it right, you can avoid time-consuming strenuous exercise.

I don't know if I'd call bulimia the "smart" way.

Here's a weight loss secret I'm going to share with you. It's guaranteed to work in most cases, and I'm not going to charge you a penny.

Are you ready?

Burn more calories than you consume.

You're welcome.

Great!

You are hot all the time? The problem is your weight!

So if I gain and/or lose weight, I'll no longer be hot? Good. I'm tired of men slobbering over me all the time.

Oh. Not that definition of "hot"? That's what I get for having Paris read these to me.

Question...

loose weight

Do you keep your loose weight in a jar?