Creepiest spam yet?

Do you know who your daughter is going out with tonight? Do you really know your neighbors around you? Do YOU have anything on your record?

Will fear eventually make stalkers of us all?

If you can answer yes to any of the questions above, then we've got the answer for you right here

If I could answer yes to any of the questions above, why would I need your services?

Get peace of mind knowing what people may or may not be hiding from you. Don't wait another moment not knowing.

My peace of mind is gone thinking my neighbours may be doing background checks on me. I've got nothing to hide, but damn, the idea of living next to people this paranoid...

You stand against the wall while we pat you down and check you for any contraband and don't give us any back-sass while we... Ah, forget it.

The following is from the subject line only. The body of the e-mail was completely blank.

Attn: This is to inform you that we the fbi have a warrant to arrest you if we dont hear from you immediately,this is the final warning you are going to receive from the fbi office do you get me? I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you. We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails we have been instructed to get you arrested immediately, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we will close your bank account and jail you and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi.Robert Mueller, III FB I Director

Yup. I'm scared.

Oh, they dragged me back in!

I forgot I even had this blog until I read this...

FBI OFFICE GET BACK TO US IMMEDIATELY IF YOU DONT WANT US TO ARREST YOU AND JAIL YOU

Attn: Beneficiary This is to inform you that we have have the warrant to arrest you if we dont hear from you immediately.

You are advice to download attachment link for more details for your own good if you dont want to go to jail.

That alone is scary enough to make me go to the nearest US consulate and turn myself in for whatever crimes I've supposedly committed, but to make this threat of jail even more believable? It came from an AOL e-mail address. AOL!

Wait... What kind of home?

I had given up on this blog, but then I received a scam mail containing this gem...

I was brought up in a motherless baby's home

I guess those motherless babies have to learn to fend for themselves at incredibly early ages to the point of home ownership before they can even walk.

I'm trying to keep this PG, but...

Care for your wang!

Some things are too wacky to not share.

Presented without comment...

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Hold on there!

Do you like mold? Didnt think so

Don't go making assumptions about my likes and dislikes, bucko!