Thursday, September 10, 2009

Frankly, my dear, he DOES give a damn!

Col. Clarke Gable
27th Infantry Brigade
United States Army
Fallujah, Iraq.

What, Major Errol Flynn wasn't available? If you're going to fake an American soldier for your new twist on the Nigerian Scam, don't name him after a dead movie star.
Dear Honourable,
My name is Col. Clarke Gable of the 27th Infantry Brigade United States Army Fallujah Iraq.

I highly doubt that, based on the British spelling of "honourable", and the fact that nobody in the English speaking world addresses anyone with simply "Dear Honourable".
I'm contacting you on behalf of my team here in Iraq peacekeeping service

Putting aside the awkward English here, "peacekeeping service" would be a whole different euphemism for the invasion force there.
we needed your assistance to move an
allocation {Funds} into your custody for safekeeping pending our final dismissal here any time this year...

"Needed"? So why are you writing to me, unless you're trying to make me feel bad for missing this once in a lifetime opportunity?
However, I wish to remind you that I’m a soldier and I have no time to come over the internet for a child play, so please if you are not able to handle this transaction with utmost confidentiality please Do Not Reply.

Now they're just insulting my intelligence. Well, they're insulting my intelligence even more, because that really started with "Col. Clarke Gable". If an officer in the U.S. Army wrote this poorly, the world's in grave danger from idiots with guns.
Please note: We're supposed to believe that English is his first language, and in that event its very poorly written. For someone who has English as a second language? It's very well done, and better than I could write in any other tongue.
If somehow you are interested in this proposal, kindly leave a message with your most confidential telephone numbers and I will get back to you
with details.


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